What is Relationship Training?
As children, we learn how to relate to ourselves and others through the relationships with our parents. Usually, what we learn is subconcious, but like hidden software, any trauma we may have experienced influences how we think, feel and behave in our interactions with others. And even if we have examined our childhood experiences and beliefs about relationship through talk therapy, it often isn’t enough. Unless we have done a more physically-oriented therapy, such as Sensori-motor therapy, Internal Family Systems or EMDR that actually unwinds the autonomic nervous system reactivity, the trauma continues to negatively influence our behaviors and experience of being relationship.
To further complicate the situation, whatever unconscious beliefs based on past trauma that we hold about relationship gets directly transmitted to our children, despite our very best intentions. Sadly, whatever is too overwhelming and unnamed in us is passed on to those we are closest to. This is called transgenerational trauma, a term coined by psychologists who study how trauma moves from generation to generation.
Signs and Symptoms of Past Trauma
- Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
- Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
- Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
- Decreased energy, fatigue, being “slowed down”
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
- Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
- Appetite and/or weight changes
- Thoughts of death or suicide
- Restlessness, irritability
- Persistent physical symptoms
Who may benefit from Relationship Training?
The most significant place that trauma shows up is in our relationships with a partner or spouse. Each individual can’t help but bring his or her unresolved childhood trauma to the marriage or partnership. Each person’s trauma-created past patterns interact with the other’s, creating conflict, mistrust, communication challenges, codependency and other unproductive patterns of relating to each other. For the relationship to find a healthy equilibrium, each person must gradually gain insight into and heal their own past trauma. In the meantime, relationship training can help each person understand and “own” his or her role in the relationship challenges. Communication skill building in the use of tools like whole messages allows couples to communicate needs and wants without further hurting each other.
My background in Relationship Training
I have extensive training is working couples who are struggling to create a stronger and healthier relationship as well as working with trauma. (For a complete list of my profession training and back ground, please see more about me.
My professional training is augmented by a 28-year marriage that is still incredibly fulfilling, as well as the experiences of co-parenting two adult children. My practical application of relationship tools in my own family allows me to avoid overly theoretical approaches and to offer a “down in the trenches”, compassionate and practical approach to relationship training.
Free phone consult
Even though therapy offers a chance to make long-lasting positive changes in your life, I know that starting therapy is often a difficult decision. I invite you to contact me to assess your needs at no cost by phone. There are no forms or paperwork to fill out. Why wait? Call today and start feeling better.