Are you dissatisfied with your relationship?
- Feeling tired of the same old arguments?
- Want to stop feeling angry and resentful towards your partner?
- Longing for more closeness, affection and intimacy?
- Want greater support from your partner in parenting and family life?
- Wishing there could be more to your marriage than just trying to stick it out for the kids?
Unhealthy Relationships in Otherwise High Functioning People
Face it: long term, committed relationships – most often marriages – are the most challenging aspect of our lives. In comparison to work and friendship where most people function quite well, committed relationships make us feel loved and connected as much as angry and hurt. They hold unrelieved tension and disharmony. Often they trigger defense mechanisms, reactive fights and withdrawal, rather than productive conversations that enhance trust and authenticity. Given the challenges, it’s no surprise that most people need help learning how to thrive in marriage.
In therapy with me, that help often begins with learning how to communicate and what healthy relationships look like. It includes understanding how we project our individual issues towards are loved ones and end up confusing both partners and causing undue pain. It begins with identifying and understanding our own triggers as well as the triggers that activate their partner. Learning these skills and perspectives leads to an emotional road maps from which you can feel safe to explore difficult issues from different perspectives.
At the end of the day, for a relationship to thrive, each person needs to recognize, own and express their beliefs, emotions and needs in such a way that the other can hear. And even if your partners sees the world differently you can still feel close, make compromises and lead successful and contented lives together.
What Issues Do I Treat?
Whether you are considering marriage, have been married for 20 years or are looking at divorce, here are some commonly addressed issues I face with my clients:
- Learning to communicate so that your partner can better understand your needs
- Understanding and resolving repetitive patterns that keep couples stuck
- Working through infidelity or commitment issues
- Turning anger and conflict into productive and caring conversations
- Developing ways to talk about jealousy, anger, sex, money, and other sensitive subjects
- Concerns about starting a family and difficulties in the transition to parenthood, including infertility and adoption
- Helping parents respond to child-rearing challenges from toddlers through teens
- Maintaining intimacy through the demands of family life
- Premarital concerns including helping couples to assess their compatibility before marriage
- The “empty nest” and establishing a new relationship without kids
- Helping couples separate and divorce as amicably as possible, including co-parenting issues and supporting children through divorce
When to Pursue Couples Therapy?
It’s understandable that sometimes couples put therapy off until their relationship is at the breaking point. However, it’s a lot easier to optimize a relationship when the problems are smaller and less emotionally charged. Therapy can still be of value when couples are in crisis; however, it requires that both partners commit to taking the time to sort things out and being willing to continue to tolerate painful and difficult feelings. Here’s some sure fire guidance: If you’re reading these words, it’s probably time to start.
What Benefits Can You Expect from Couples Therapy?
The benefits of Couples Therapy vary based on the issues for which couples seek therapy and the motivation of each partner. Below are some examples of the types of benefits that couples have achieved:
- An ability to handle conflict when it arrises
- Greater periods of connection
- A reduced period of separation when conflict gets out of hand.
- Fewer experiences of conflict
- Greater awareness and understanding of each other’s needs
- More closeness, affection and connection
- Anger management skills
- An improved sexual relationship
- Reduced jealousy
- If separating, a more amicable divorce and a healthy response to your children’s needs
Free Initial Phone Consultation
If you’d like to get started, I would invite you to contact me by phone or email (below) so we can assess your situation and determine whether it makes sense for us to meet for an initial session. What do you have to lose? Get in touch today.