Relationship Issues

My work with couples includes pre-marital, marital, and relationship counseling as well as assisting couples through separation and divorce.  Some of the issues that I help couples address are:

  • Resolving communication problems
  • Premarital concerns including helping couples to assess their compatibility before marriage
  • Turning anger and conflict into productive and caring conversations
  • Developing ways to talk about jealousy, anger, sex, money, and other sensitive subjects
  • Working through infidelity or commitment issues
  • Learning to communicate so that your partner can better understand your needs
  • Understanding and resolving repetitive patterns that keep couples stuck
  • Dealing with the emotional challenges of infertility, third-party family building and adoption
  • Concerns about starting a family and difficulties in the transition to parenthood
  • Helping parents respond to child-rearing challenges from toddlers through teens
  • Maintaining intimacy through the demands of family life
  • The “empty nest” and establishing a new relationship without kids
  • Helping couples separate and divorce as amicably as possible
  • Co-parenting support through separation and divorce

Signs and Symptoms of Relationship Issues

  • Feeling tired of the same old arguments?
  • Feeling dissatisfied with your relationship?
  • Want to stop feeling angry and resentful towards your partner?
  • Longing for more closeness, affection and intimacy?
  • Want greater support from your partner in parenting and family life?
  • Wishing there could be more to your marriage than just trying to stick it out for the kids?

Impacts of Relationship Challenges

Long term, committed relationships are more difficult because they make us feel the most vulnerable and tap into our earliest experiences of being connected with others.  Defense mechanisms get triggered by an interaction with one’s partner, leading to reactive fights or withdrawal, rather than productive conversations that push the relationship to a new level of trust and authenticity. Given the challenges, it’s no surprise that many people need a little extra help learning how to communicate without becoming defensive, going away or attacking.

I help each person identify and better understand their own triggers as well as the triggers that activate their partner.  These emotional road maps can make it feel safer and easier to explore difficult issues from each person’s perspective without activating the other person’s defensive systems. At the end of the day, for a relationship to thrive, each person needs to learn how to recognize, own and ask for their needs to be met as well as be willing to meet the needs of their partner. And even if a partner can’t always meet the other person’s needs, being able to discuss them openly relieves a lot of the tension that can build up when needs go unaddressed and acknowledged.

How I can help

In addition to being a caring and skillful listener, I am experienced in a number of body centered therapies such as EMDR and Sensorimotor Therapy that can quickly help you discover strategies to not only manage your reactions to your partner but also reduce them significantly. Working directly with your body’s autonomic nervous system is the fast track to finding relief from anxiety and rediscovering your passion and joy for life. Here are some examples of the types of benefits that can be achieved:

  • Improved communication
  • Reduced conflict
  • Greater awareness and understanding of each other’s needs
  • More closeness, affection and connection
  • Anger management skills
  • A realization that the relationship could not work
  • A decision to get married, start a family, or get back together
  • Improved sexual relationship
  • Reduced jealousy
  • If separating, a more amicable divorce
  • If separating, a greater ability to understand and respond to the needs of your child/children

Free phone consult

Even though therapy offers a chance to make long-lasting positive changes in your life, just reaching out is the most difficult step. I invite you to call, text or email me right now to see if we’re a good fit. There are no forms or paperwork to fill out.  Why wait?  And we’ll spend just 10-15 minutes getting to know one another. Call today and start feeling better.